


A Dying Wish

by DoodlebugQT



Category: Resident Alien (TV 2021)
Genre: Cancer, Conversations about Death, Heart Attacks, Hospitals, Other, dying hopes, make-a-wish, seeing is believing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 06:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29621754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoodlebugQT/pseuds/DoodlebugQT
Summary: On a visit to a large hospital on the Ute Reservation, Harry waits for news of Asta's Grandmother on a difficult surgery after a near-fatal heart attack causes her to be rushed in without warning. Harry is roped into driving Asta the long three-hour drive  there and as he waits with the rest of the Twelvetrees family, he decides to take this time to wander around and observe real doctors as they work. Without meaning to, he stumbles into a room with a girl who can see him as he really is, yet her reaction is far from Max's terror as Harry is pulled into a unexpected conversation with her.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	A Dying Wish

I shouldn’t be here, and yet somehow, I am.

Three and a half hours ago, I was seated with Asta at Joe’s Diner when she got the news that her grandmother had suffered a serious heart attack. According to Google, heart attacks are blockages of blood flow to the heart muscle and they’re considered a medical emergency. Without blood, tissue loses oxygen and then dies.

It explains Asta’s hysteria when she first got the call from her father. I’ve studied that humans have a tendency to panic when emergencies related to close loved-ones are involved. It had been an incredibly awkward experience on my part. She only had her bike with her and judging by the expressions I received from various table neighbors in the diner, it seemed as though it was expected of me to offer assistance of some kind. For a long moment I had been at a loss since her grandmother was being transported to the larger hospital and ER on the reservation so they would hardly need my assistance as a doctor. At the moment I only had my truck so I deduced that transporting her to the medical facility would be sufficient.

Luckily it was enough for her.

It was a long three hour-drive. Normally I enjoy silence on a regular day, but not this time. It felt… wrong. There was water coming from Asta’s eyes—the stuff they call tears—and though I had asked about it, Asta wanted to pretend it wasn’t there even as she burst more heavily into sobs and simply explained she was just worried.

It was a very long three hours.

* * *

Waiting rooms are tedious. No wonder patients get irritable during their time spent in there. It’s been hours and there has been little word involving her grandmother. I’ve gotten hungry and several people are asleep around me. There are vending machines down here but none of them have anything that looks particularly good.

I want some cow milk. A banana would be nice, too. Nurse’s break rooms usually have better variety. I think I know where one might be, too.

Asta is asleep so it’s unlikely she’ll wonder where I am too suddenly. The elevator to the second floor is likely to take me where I need to be. A few minutes of wandering prove fruitful as a resident break room provides me with a small carton of milk and an orange. Not a banana but it’ll do.

I should go back, but there’s nothing waiting back in the waiting room but more waiting really. Perhaps now would be an exceptional time to observe actual human doctors in their real occupations. I still require a general knowledge and I’m lacking in several necessary procedures and if I intend to keep up my veneer this could be a perfect opportunity.

It’s been two more hours now and so far, I have witnessed an appendectomy, a shoulder readjustment, and a man get a very large saw blade extracted from his right calf. The ER is a very intense and fascinating place although I think one of the doctors is starting to suspect me. His face is tightened together, indicating he is frustrated by my continued appearance.

It may be time to return to the waiting room.

_Damnit!_ That doctor again. I want to avoid him.

I switch directions and turn a corner, passing through the first door I see until I’m certain he is gone.

When I observe the room I find myself in, I jolt a little to see a line of beds, most of them empty save for three, which are occupied by thin, balding children. The room is divided by their belongings which are spread over either their beds, chairs or on shelves that line the walls. One of them is awake with a book in her lap, yet her expression pops up the moment she sees me and widens into shock.

It’s the same expression Max gets when he looks at me. Part of me is tempted to dive out right now, but I’m interested to see her reaction, also reluctant to run into that doctor again. She does not scream or fly into hysterics as I expect. Her eyes do not leave me and yet her body relaxes and she leans back again.

“So what planet are you supposed to be from exactly?”

I don’t move.

_Oh shit, not another one._

How is it mathematically possible that in a county with a population of barely thirteen-thousand people there are not just one, but TWO people who can see me for what I really am? There’s only supposed to be _one_ in a million. A million! Some idiot on my planet miscalculated. What an embarrassment. When I get back home, I’m going to find that fool and set things straight.

With luck, perhaps people won’t believe this child either. And if not… well… this one shouldn’t be as much of a challenge to dispose of as a healthy kid is. Even so, probably best to at least pretend to not know what she’s talking about.

“I am not sure I know what you mean,” I say it casually. For some reason she is not shocked nor afraid in the slightest. There is a sad kind of acceptance in her sickly expression.

“This must be bad, then.”

“And why do you say that?”

“You’re with Make-A-Wish aren’t you?”

That takes me off-guard. “Make a Wish? If you haven’t noticed I’m a doctor, not a genie.”

“You’re even reciting Star Trek lines. This **must** be Make-A-Wish. I figured we’d be getting close by now, but I really thought I’d get a bit more time.”

She leans back farther against her numerous pillows and I come closer, drawn by her reaction and lack of surprise as I take up the chair beside her bed. Several wires and tubes attach to various machines measuring her bodily functions connect to her. For some reason it is a morbid sort of sight and my mind makes an odd comparison to one of those marionet puppets I’ve seen in movies and in toy stores.

It’s taking time for my mind to click but I think I recognize her symptoms from her balding head, gaunt face, and the selected machines around her. There are also charts above the wall that provide some clues. Leukemia. A cancer of blood-forming tissues, hindering the body’s ability to fight infection. Sadly, it is one disease I do not know a lot about, and I am curious now about it and its impact on a victim.

“How long have you been sick?” I ask.

“Tomorrow is the anniversary of my diagnosis. I’ve been fighting for the better part of five years. That’s more than half my whole life. I think I’m getting pretty close though.”

“Are you talking about your own death?”

The smallest trace of a morbid sort of smile plays on her mouth. “Wow, you don’t sugar-coat anything, do you?”

“I like sugar but not on everything.”

“You’re even playing the part like you’re really an alien. I appreciate the dedication on my account.”

“Alien?! Really. W-what makes you say I’m an alien?”

But she is not falling for my attempts to dissuade her, in fact it seems she is convinced that what she truly sees is the actual illusion. “You can drop the act if you want. I know you’re doing it to make me feel better, but I’m just not in the mood today. And even if I was, you wouldn’t be able to take me up into space, could you?”

_What is this? Why would she ask me for such a thing?_

She just shrugs and looks back at her book. I glance at the cover entitled The Way Home and see that it is a crudely drawn picture book about a boy and an alien that get stranded on the moon together. I only read two pages of it before the girl begins to talk again.

“I figured not. Kids always ask for things that are impossible.” She pointed over to one of the two other occupants in the room. “Melody over there, that little six-year-old with the seashells and the tons of mermaid stuff, she just got her wish granted the other day. She wanted to swim with a real mermaid and they hired a professional to take her in a pool and bob around with her.”

Her finger switches over to another bald child being carried in a man’s arms, probably his father, while a woman and a teenage girl pack up various things here and there clearing the bed of all personal items. The boy wears a hat to cover his balding head. He is exhausted and asleep and the man holds him and allows his head to rest on his shoulder while he sleeps.

“And that kid over there packing up his stuff? He’s a real Avatar the Last Airbender fan. A bunch of actors came a few weeks ago and pretended to float stuff like water balloons and fireballs around him and he had a great time. But now he’s done here. He’s not going home because he’s getting better. No one will say it, but he’s going home to die. His parents want him to be someplace comfortable for his last few days. They want him to be surrounded by familiar things. That’s how I’ll know for sure when it’s my turn.”

I can read the emotions coming off her gaunt face. There is fear behind her words, but more than that she is defeated and tired, as if she has fought many battles and the hope that her war will be won has fizzled into nothing. Now she doesn’t care whether she wins or not, she only wants it to be over. This conversation is very unsettling and there is very little I can offer as adequate replies to her statements. Instead, I glance around at her own surroundings and finally see the things she has for herself. There are dozens upon dozens of various drawings, comic books, posters and toys featuring the green, bug-eyed aliens that humans think of when they envision extra-terrestrial lifeforms.

I still do not know what this Make-A-Wish is precisely, but I feel I may have some idea what she is talking about now, as well as what she wished for herself. A moment goes by before she confirms my suspicions.

“I know you’re not going to be able to take me up in a spaceship like I asked for but it’s nice you came to visit even so. Since you worked so hard on it, what planet are you supposed to be from?”

I shouldn’t encourage this. This is not my business. My mission cannot be compromised.

And yet… she is already dying.

“I don’t think you’d be able to pronounce it in your language.”

“Try me,” she says with amusement and newfound interest.

I tell her. My people mostly use a form of telepathy to communicate with one another, but with other life-forms we attempt a more vocal communication. When I speak my planet's name, it is a series of clicks and chittering, as humans would say. Since the planet remains undiscovered by their satellites and has not been officially named, there is no translation for it.

Her eyes widen at the sound I have made.

“Wow that’s a mouthful.” She makes an attempt to repeat what I have said, yet she only butchers it and the closest thing she manages is a phrase that is considered wholly inappropriate among my people. Human’s would laugh at the simple mistake and I can’t help but chuckle a little myself. It is a very poor attempt.

“Uh… no. Not exactly.” I repeat it, enunciating it carefully for her.

She tries again with some improvement, but it still sounds crude in the important part. I say it for her one more time and she repeats. This time it is exceptionally better.

“It’s a weird name,” she comments.

“Says the people who named their planet ‘Dirt,’” I remark.

“Earth is a good name,” she countered in defense. “Dirt is what the planet is. Everything we know was born from the dirt. I think it’s a very appropriate name. It has a certain kind of humility.”

“If you want to think so.”

“What’s your planet name mean?”

“It means, ‘Everything to Exist.’”

“It’s fun to say.” She says it again, and it is almost just right.

Humans are so strange. They find enjoyment in such small things. The utterance of a simple word or phrase can cause them amusement.

“Why’d you come to Earth?” She asks me.

I don’t think to lie about it. “To annihilate the human race.”

Her expression is downcast as her eyes fall to her book again. “ _Oh_ … I guess that kind of sucks for us then.”

“If you’re a human I suppose it would.”

“So, are you just annihilating humans then?”

“I’m afraid my device only works on humans.”

“ _Oh_. Well at least the dogs and cats get to live. They’re alright. I’m a little worried about how they’ll get on without their owners though. Did your alien brethren want to adopt them after all the humans are gone?”

“I don’t imagine we will.”

“Do you not like dogs and cats?”

“Dogs I’ve met and they’re not too impressive in my opinion. Too needy and slobbery. Cats, I have no opinion on as I have yet to meet one.”

“You should get a cat then, or at least meet one to see how much you like them, maybe the feeling could be mutual. They’re very aloof. I think you’d probably get along great. Miss Keen got us a cat. A grey one with black stripes. She let me name him Bandit because he has a long stripe that goes over his eyes, like a bandit mask. I also have a lizard at home. His name is Garth.”

“That’s an odd name for a lizard.”

“I named him after my friend. They’ll both live longer than I will.”

This child is very unpleasant. She is not rude or catty, as some humans would say, she states only facts in the same way I do, yet they have a strange way of making me feel uncomfortable.

I think this feeling is what humans might call depression. _Unusual_. I know it’s _her_ emotion but I’m somehow able to feel it. The same way I did with Asta when she was sad about Sam Hodges. I don’t like this feeling. I don’t like feeling emotions that belong to other people. It is not normal for my kind. We hear thoughts from each other, but emotions are not there. It feels like… I catch some sort of virus from these humans every time it happens.

Her eyes look over at me as if she was expecting something I failed to do.

“Aren’t you supposed to encourage me or say something inspiring and uplifting that’ll give me hope?”

_Another unusual thing._

“Why would I do something like that?”

“Because… you’re supposed to make me feel better… aren’t you?”

“I don’t know why I would do that. At the moment I’m completely off-duty. I am not a doctor right now, I’m just a visitor here.”

At that moment the door opens and a nurse enters, coming towards the girl’s bed with a clipboard in hand.

“Hey, Honey. How you feeling today?” She wears an easy smile but it falters when she sees me. To her eyes, I look just as normal as any other human man speaking to a sick child, so I’m not sure why she looks so suspicious. “I see you have a visitor. May I ask who you are, sir?”

The girl’s expression doesn’t change as the nurse comes closer, “I got a visitor from,” she speaks my planet’s name and the nurse retracts with a raised eyebrow. “He was just telling me he’s vacationing here for a while until he can complete his mission.”

“Oh really? And what’s his mission?”

Before I have time to feel instant stupidity about converging my mission to this child, she surprises me. “Top secret, I’m afraid. Us humans would never begin to understand the innerworkings of an alien society and their reasonings.”

“I guess you would be the one to know, right, Honey?”

“You can also ask him for yourself if you’d like.”

I stood and offered my hand to shake in the natural Earthly greeting towards the nurse.

“Hello, I am Harry Vanderspeigle. I’m the doctor for Patience.”

She took my hand and brightened at the mention of my town. “Oh, you’re out by Patience? I have cousins that live down there. What brings you in today?”

“A friend’s grandmother had a heart attack.”

“Oh dear. Are they alright?”

“I am not sure. There has been no word about it.”

“So then, what are you doing over here?”

_Observing certain procedures that I have yet to do myself_ , is probably not the answer she would approve of.

“I needed to stretch my legs and get something to eat. I don’t like doing nothing while I wait for... news.”

She nods to that, letting me know it was the right thing to say. “I understand that. Perhaps though you ought to wait someplace else?” She glances at the girl in the bed and I nod with understanding as I moved to leave. Thanks to my exceptional senses, I can easily tell _exactly_ when I wear out my welcome. If only more humans could be that attuned.

Before I leave, I feel a tug on my arm and the girl has more to say, yet by the way she curls her finger downward it is meant only for my ears. I lean down so she can tell me.

“I know you’re only pretending, but I still didn’t tell her what you’re really here to do. Maybe you can change your mind about humans.” I do not have an answer for that. The words do something strange to me. Then she is back to her original self before I am able to think about them too deeply. “Anyways I’m sorry you wasted so much time putting on that make-up for me. I wish I was in a better mood to pretend more with you.”

And like that, the nurse ushers me out and closes the door. I walk away from the room and back to the waiting area where Asta still sits with the rest of her family. I enter just as the surgeon for their grandmother appears with good news. She is going to make a full recovery.

Everyone is happy and relieved and Asta hugs her father and cousin. But I do not celebrate with them. I do not feel better.

That empty hole in my chest is back, but this time, it feels much more painful somehow. I first believe it is because I miss home. It is that. It must be. But not entirely somehow. I miss my planet, but there is a newfound sadness there as well, one that has nothing to do with my homesickness and the aching desire I have to return. It is a sadness for these humans, a sadness that once I have my device they will be no more.

This is the very reason I was never meant to actually step onto the planet. Why my mission should have been quick and painless, like ripping off a band-aid. I should never have gotten close to any of them. These odd creatures who are very complicated, violent and yet gentle, filthy and yet clean, guilty and yet innocent.

For the first time I wish I had never taken this job, I wish that I had never been given this responsibility, that my ship had never crashed, and that I had never spoken to any of them.

My thoughts go back to her final words to me.

_Change my mind about humans?_

I am not allowed to change my mind. I cannot. I have accepted the task that was given to me by my people. It is necessary, though I doubt any of the humans I know would understand that.

My mission has been compromised by myself alone. I divulged sensitive information to a child, one that was on death’s door, but still, I did it anyways. She did not expose me even as she saw through my camouflage, but only because she did not believe it, she did not even believe her own eyes. There was too much defeat in her to trust such things, too much hope that has been shattered over and over again.

_How strange._

I need to drive Asta back home, yet once I am back to my cabin, I will have some research I will need to do. Namely studying more about this Leukemia disease and finding out what this Make-A-Wish is exactly and why the child would think I had anything to do with such a thing. 

I will also try to meet a cat.


End file.
